The Sneaky Pint: The Donald

Posted on November 27, 2020 / by The Drunken Poet

As alternate realities go, the last 4 years have been pretty tame I suppose. Rioting in the streets of the U.S, unchecked climate change denialism, unchecked pandemic denialism, talks of a military coup in what was once thought to be a benchmark democracy and a man who likes to “grab ‘em by the pussy” in the White House. He was really, really, really intelligent. Some people said that. He was going to build a really, really, really big wall and make Mexico pay for it. But people from shit countries kept coming to the U.S. and he was the least racist person around because lots of people said so. Up is down, black is white and the truth is an alternative fact.
It could’ve been worse. I’ve seen War of the Worlds! I mean when aliens takeover and start shooting the place up, we’ll tell stories to the kiddies, as we hide out in the sewers, about the good old days when The Donald held ridiculous press conferences about injecting bleach and how he boasted about his nuclear button being bigger than Kim Jung-un’s. We’ll all laugh, in hushed tones, as the drones sweep overhead scanning for remaining lifeforms, and a wistful look will overcome us all as we remember The Donald. Ahhhh, yeah like fuck we will.
Fascism is a strange beast. It can creep up on you and before you know it, you’ve got some prick in power condoning racism and promoting division. Was it the same for Germany in 1933, when the little moustachioed one rose to power? Did they sleep walk into a fascist dictatorship? I have to admit that I wondered more than once over the last 4 years; “is this how it happened?” And is this a “there but for the grace of God” type situation? If the Democratic party had not mobilised, who knows where another 4 years of The Donald would’ve taken us. Certainly nowhere good, I’d wager.
It makes you realise what a tightrope we all walk along. One little thing can topple us over into oblivion. “He’s just a reality t.v star, he’ll never get in.” “Did you hear Donald Trump is running for President?” “Oh my god, Donald Trump just won the Republican primary!” Yep, it was like a bad dream. A rollercoaster no one could get off. Someone shut the gate behind us and we were locked in for the ride. And what a ride! At times I thought we’d never see the end and while it isn’t over quite yet and we all know he’ll have some loop de-loops for us in the next month and a half, it would appear to be the last few twists and turns on this very bad trip.
It does make you appreciate the good things in life. As bad as things got we knew The Poet would still be there. We knew The Donald’s slimy tentacles could never reach that bastion of truth and goodwill. Fascists would quiver in their boots at the mere mention of The Drunken Poet. Like a shining beacon guiding us all home at night, it stands between us and the waves of tyranny. When it all goes to shit, all lovers of freedom and peace know where to go. And if you didn’t, then you do now.
Adios Donald, may we never see the like of you again.