The Sneaky Pint: The Irish Rover

Posted on April 30, 2020 / by The Drunken Poet

(Part 4 of The Adventures of Paddy and Manuel.)

Sea spray blew in a not so fine mist across the deck of The Irish Rover as it’s bow crashed through waves as high as the mast. The two boys stood side by side gripping the rail next to Mick McCann from the banks of the Bann as he steered The Irish Rover through the teeth of a gale. He’d seen worse and this storm didn’t scare him. In fact, he was relishing every second. The sails full, the crew holding on for dear life, the horizon rising and falling in and out of sight, and every sinew in his body tingling. They’d been chasing The Flying Dutchman for a day and a half, sparing no sail and through some pretty big seas. Mick could see the edge of the storm and when he looked through his spyglass he could see the Dutchman and he’d just worked out where they were headed; Black Heart Island!
Mick kept the information to himself lest it spook the crew. He looked over at the two small boys, whom he’d almost certainly saved from a grisly end back at The Buggered Pelican, gave them a wink and pointed at the Dutchman. “We’ll have caught them up by dusk lads.” The two boys looked at the ghost ship up ahead and shivered. The prospect of reacquainting themselves with the Dutchman or Francois L’Olonnais was filling both of them with dread, but something still pulled them towards the map or was it the treasure that called to them? Neither of them knew, but whatever it was, Mick McCann and the crew of The Irish Rover were almost certainly under it’s spell as well. So intent were they on the chase, that they had failed to notice a large reef lurking in their path.
The Irish Rover ground to a halt and the sound of a splintering hull filled the air. Pandemonium ensued, but one thing became clear to all those aboard; they were going down and going down fast.
Meanwhile On Black Heart Island

The indigenous people of Black Heart Island, unsurprisingly didn’t call it Black Heart Island. To them it was home and they called it Turtle Island. They were a peaceful and loving group of people, but they took particular exception to a bunch of cutthroats digging up the turtle nesting beach. Thar really made their blood boil.
As Francois reached out to take a handful of gold dubloons, a spear pierced his chest and pinned him to the sand. (He died happy…well he was still smiling when his heart stopped and who could ask for better?) Spears rained down on the pirates and blood drenched the beach. A few pirates escaped, but they swam into the ocean and let’s face it, probably drowned. #sneakypintdoesntsugarcoat
Meanwhile Back At What Once Was The Irish Rover

Manuel had Paddy by his shirt collar and he was swimming hard. The rip was strong and Paddy was struggling. Manuel was losing strength, floundering and starting to loose his grip on Paddy. As usual, the giant turtle was just in time. Manuel grabbed the turtle and Paddy and they rose swiftly to the surface. The boys both gasped for air and their eyes, once they’d been wiped of salt water, took a while to take in the scene on the beach of Turtle Island. A group of fearsome warriors stood on a bloody beach strewn with bodies. As the boys stumbled ashore, carried by a turtle, the tribe’s deity, it was like God had just dropped off Jesus (×2) at the beach.

10 Years Later

The boys were now young men and their lives had been happy on Turtle Island, but they yearned for something more and when a ship bound for South Australia randomly stopped offshore, Paddy and Manuel hitched a ride and brought their chest with them.
*Spotify link : South Australia by The Pogues

https://open.spotify.com/album/4V92Puney9WxGPecKtLG4Lhighlight=spotify:track:0IBOsG3HJQIpLHWCsYT7tD
* Paddy and Manuel ended up in Melbourne and rumour has it that they buried the treasure somewhere in West Melbourne. José’s convinced it’s buried beneath the Guinness tap at The Drunken Poet, because he’s drawn there regularly.
*The Sneaky Pint has definitely seen a lot of pirates at The Poet, so there might be something to this theory.